Yule Log 2000
There comes a time in many men’s lives when they have to face a disturbing phenomenon: hair loss. I apparently have reached this point earlier than most. But, the real problem that I am faced with is the fact that the hair that I still have is not long enough for the comb over. I had it going good too, it was just getting to the point where I could get it to do just what I wanted it to. Now, forget about it! You would think that in the year 2001 they could do something about this problem!
Let’s see, what have I noticed recently:
1. I could swear that when they brought me home from the hospital that the ground was green, now I am not sure what has happened. Every time they take me outside they cover my face with a blanket. Just what are they trying to hide?
2. I need more physical activity; my arms are in sorry shape.
3. Somebody brush the dog’s teeth, their breath is terrible!
4. Sometimes I sleep just to get away from everybody:-)
5. There are disturbingly few toys available for kids my age. However, I have been to the promised land (Toys R Us) and I know that the good stuff is not far away!
6. If I hit myself in the face one more time, why I’ll…. Well I am not sure what I will do especially since I don’t seem to be able to stop no matter what I do.
7. Have I mentioned painful diaper rash before? I thought so. Well, new update: IT STILL HURTS!
8. Web site advertising can be a huge revenue stream. Do you think I can get anyone to advertise here? I know this site has limited appeal, but the visitors are a very targeted group. Just an idea. Send me your thoughts: cole@colemcpherson.com
9. Blah Blah Blah, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah! I just had to get that out.
10. I know my mom and dad keep talking about it, but I just want to confirm that yes, my car seat is too small!
No, I did not forget about Christmas, it is just that I am more than a little upset over the events of that holiday. First, they drag me out to see some old man in a red suit with a scraggly old beard and make me sit on his lap while they take pictures of me (see my home page). Not my idea of a good time! Second, my understanding of this holiday is that people give me stuff, which is wrapped up and I get to open the packages and be surprised by what is in them. Now, there were wrapped packages, which were for me, but I did not get to open them and I was not surprised by the contents since my stupid parents took me with them to buy the stuff! What are they thinking? And yes, I know it may have taken me a couple of months to open the packages, but I could have done it! Granted, I did get some pretty cool things but I think my earlier points are still valid. Next year I guarantee I will have more say in the way things go down!
And what about New Years you say? Apparently we don’t celebrate that at my house. I mean I go to sleep one night and I wake up the next day and it is a new year like nothing even happened. I was just getting used to the old year. Not that I really care that much, I was much happier sleeping.
Until next time,
Cole
January 4, 2001