Maybe it is all a Dream

You know, sometimes life just passes us by and before we know it, 3 months are gone and I have not done any updating to my website.   Who knows why, but I just have not done it.  Maybe it was the teething, maybe it was the learning to stand on my own, maybe it was all the times that I have fallen on my head that made me forget to do it, maybe I have just been lazy, maybe I had nothing to say, maybe it was too nice outside and I did not want to be inside behind the computer, maybe I had better things to do, maybe my mom and dad would not let me do it, maybe I wrote them out on paper and the dogs ate them, maybe a cat puked on them, maybe someone threw them away “accidentally,” maybe I had a hard drive failure, maybe (and this is just a remote possibility) it is none of your business!  It’s a cold hard world isn’t it!

Anyway, enough with the formalities, lets get down to business.  SO MUCH, has happened since the last time we talked I don’t know where to begin! Hmmm, ok, how about we start with this Bin Laden guy, who does he think he is anyway?  Here is what I know about the guy, he is basically upset with us because we saved his countries and his region’s butt but to do so we had to do it on holy land.  Now this guy seems like a pretty smart guy, after all Bill Clinton couldn’t get him (this is a joke people, of course he is smarter than Bill) and I heard Bill say the other day that he gave the orders to have Bin Laden assassinated.  So, my question is: if this guy is so smart why does he hate people who defended his home land?  Is it just me or does this seem really stupid?  Two more thoughts here, first I think we now have the right President to take care of this situation and second I am selfishly happy that I am too young to be in the military.  Here is my first posting of a joke (I know that you are saying to yourself right now that everything I write is a joke, well maybe you are right!), I hope you get I am not sure that I do:

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm.
I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

Ok, so these buildings that they attacked, my understanding is that they were very tall.  I have always wondered about the safety of these things, not that I have ever been in one; I don’t think that I have ever even seen one.  But, doesn’t common sense tell you that if you stick that many people that far up in a building that eventually there is going to be trouble?  The other thing that I always wondered about these buildings is how do they ever intend to tear them down?  That could be more work than building them to begin with!  I sure hope there are people out there that know more about this stuff than I do! But then I have only had like 10 months to even think about it so how much should I be expected to know!

At this point in my life it seems a little self-aggrandizing to brag about things I am doing and how I am growing.  After all, you have come to expect great things from me and I would say that in general I am living up to your expectations.  If you have specific questions about certain progress, please feel free to send me an e-mail at cole@colemcpherson.com, I will respond as quickly as I am able.  I try to respond to all requests within 48 hours, but sometimes I don’t and you will just have to live with that. 

Ok, now for some important business:  my 1^st birthday is fast approaching and as you better know, it is on the same day as Halloween.  Obviously, this is not my first Halloween, I caught like 22 of the 24 hours last year but I pretty much missed out on all of the festivities.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew what was going on, but I could not get anybody to take me trick or treating!  I guess it was just as well, I did not have a costume anyway.  Speaking of which, this is where I need your help.  We are going to conduct a little survey about what I should be for Halloween.  Now my mom thinks I would be cute as a pumpkin or a pea pod or some other dorky thing and my dad thinks I should be a vampire but I don’t really know what that is.  So, I need your help, what do you think I should be?  Let me give you a couple of helpers: one, avoid the cutesy crap I am a man and I want to be treated like it.  Two, nothing where I have to wear a mask, you know safety first.  And most importantly of all, if anyone even mentions anything having to do with N’ Sync, the Backstreet Boys or any other “boy” band you will be severely dealt with! Send your ideas to me at cole@colemcpherson.com. Come on, I really need your help; otherwise I may end up going as a banana or some other fruit!

If you recall, last year at Christmas I had a little disagreement with my parents about the buying and opening of presents.  So, for my Birthday lets get this straight from the beginning; I tell you what to buy, you buy it, you wrap it and I alone will open them, period end of story.  Now I am sure that some of you are saying that this seems a little extreme, and maybe it is.  But sometimes you just have to lay down the law, it doesn’t make me happy to have to do it, but never the less I have to do it.  Which of course leads me into the types of presents that you should be buying me, it is pretty simple. Just ask yourself two questions: is it cool and would I want it if I were Cole’s age?  Get it?  Cute is out, cool is in!  If you find yourself saying: just think how cute he would look in this, put the item back and walk away!  If you are buying me something that you think I need, forget it.  I don’t NEED anything; I want fun stuff and only fun stuff!  If you still have questions, cash is always welcome!

Well, I think I will call it quits for this update.  If I use all my good stuff this month what will I do next month! 

Until next time,

Cole

September 28, 2001

P.S. I just had one more thought.  I went for quite a while and never had to wear shoes, now they pretty much have me wearing them all of the time.  Now, I really don't mind wearing them but couldn't they make them a little more comfortable.  I mean they send people to the moon, they can clone a sheep, they can even make a car that runs with its own self-contained power cell that converts hydrogen into electricity and has zero emissions (think about that for a minute, that means electric cars that don't have rechargeable batteries that ultimately use fossil fuels to be recharged, in fact click here for an article on how to produce hydrogen at home), but they can't seem to make a shoe that does not cause your foot to be contorted when you wear them.   My mission in life grows longer every day that I live!