Happy Birthday to Me

Well, here we are one year later, time flies when you don’t really know what time is!  Today as you well know (mostly because I constantly remind you) is my birthday.  I wish I could enjoy it a little more, but I am not feeling real well.  I went to the doctor the other day and I cried the whole time I was there, sometimes I like to cry just to worry them a little.  It doesn’t do much harm and it keeps them a little off balance.  If I was good all the time don’t you think they might get bored with me?  As you might suspect, I have no idea what is wrong with me, I mean what do I look like, Doogie Howser! But once again, they gave me some medicine that tastes pretty good so I expect to feel much better very soon.

Anyway, we had a great party on Sunday I think that everyone was there. No, I don’t mean everyone in my family, I mean EVERYONE!  The house was packed with people, a lot of whom I had never seen before, well not that I remember anyway.  I have to tell you the best part though; I got to watch all my cousins stick there heads in a bucket of water.  It took me a while to figure it out, but apparently this is how they pay their respect to me on my birthday.  I know, it sounds a little far fetched, but that has to be it.  What other reasons might they have for such an exercise; some of them did it like 5 or 6 times!  They must really like me!  And you know what else?  I got to open my own presents!  And you know what else?  I was surprised by what was inside every time!  Now this is the way that it is supposed to be!  Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I had my first piece of cake, it was great!  But here again, my stupid parents!  Don’t they know that a chocolate cake has a much better effect in pictures?  Well anyway, I am not complaining too much.  I would like very much to be able to list all the great gifts that I got from everyone, but the list is too long.  But I can thank everyone here, thanks!  And nearly everyone followed the “cool” rules with the exception of I think Lynn and my Grandma McPherson.  But I should say that they certainly made up for it! 

Ok, the winner of the “what am I going to be for Halloween” contest is… my mom!!!!  Yes, she finally came around and was able to see that being a vegetable or a fruit was simply not cool.  Now, before I tell you what I ended up being, I should say that it may not have been the coolest costume on the planet, but I looked awfully good in it!  Any guesses?  That’s right, I was a Bumble Bee.  I can see you saying to yourself right now: a bee?  I guess that’s ok.  Let me tell you though, bees have a lot of power over people!  There are a lot of people who are very scared of bees.  The biggest problem that the bee has is that it’s a one shot terrorist.  You know, they sting you then they die.  Well, not me.  Not that I was going around stinging people, there was no need; you threaten one or two and it’s no problem keeping the rest in line!   I know John Belushi hated playing the bee, but if he could have just stepped back and saw how funny it was I think he might not have hated it quite so much.  Vespula vulgaris, the common yellow jacket, the king bee… now that’s what I am.

This war thing is absolutely driving me up the wall.  Are there any news people anywhere who have a clue?  No, this is not a rhetorical question; I need an answer.  Sensationalism is not a part of reporting the news!  When will they get this through their thick skulls?  These people obviously believe they are the news, right?  Now I know I am raising questions that other people have already thought of, but they are new to me.  That’s it, I can’t take discussing this subject any further!

Until next time,

Cole

October 31, 2001