Mayflowers, Not Just a Boat for Pilgrims 


They have been feeding me more and more different kinds of food lately, which is great.  However, they still don’t give me the same stuff they eat and I want to tell you I am a little upset over this fact!  They give me this runny orange and green stuff and some other stuff that tastes like cardboard (one time I tried to eat the box for one of my toys) and they seem all happy that they are giving it to me.  I shouldn’t complain, but their food smells awfully good and mine, well lets just say I bet they wouldn’t eat it on a dare!

Recently, I have had this pain in one of my ears.  Ever since I got this pain they have been giving me some stuff that actually tastes pretty good.  But, unlike the cardboard stuff, they never give me enough!  Just when they have got my mouth salivating they don’t give me anymore.  What is the deal here?  I have a theory:  if it tastes good I only get little, if it tastes bad I can have all I want? Who made up this system?  Note to self: when I get older eat as much of whatever I want whenever I want!  After all, my dad does!

People have been driving me nuts saying, “Cole, when are you going to see the baby?” so, I finally saw the baby!  Funny story, they laid me down next to him on the floor at my Grandma’s house (I think they were trying to see how much bigger I am than him) so I pulled his hair!  What else was I going to do?  I mean, I have these hands and he has that hair, it seemed so natural!  Anyway, the kid bursts out crying like you would not believe.  I don’t know what the problem was; it didn’t hurt me at all!  Well, somebody picked him up and got him to stop crying and then everyone had a good laugh.  Problem here:  did I do a bad thing?  Talk about mixed signals; I spend 90% of my waking hours trying to make people laugh and I am usually successful, but I don’t think that I have ever made anyone cry (other than myself).  So, in the course of about two minutes I had done both with one incident!  Someone please help me out here, what is a boy to do?

“Food showers”, my newest invention for reeking havoc upon my mom.  I try to time it just so as she puts the spoon with food into my mouth that I stick my tongue out and do a raspberry (well, that is what my mom calls it anyway).   What a mess it makes!  The real key came when I figured out it was not that much fun for the cardboard, but the orange and green stuff, OH YEAH!  It makes my mom so mad it is funny.  But, when my dad feeds me, well lets just say I mind my manners.

So anyway, I’m in church the other day trying to be good and for some reason my mom and dad are standing with me up in front of everyone.  I was just minding my own business, when out of nowhere some guy splashed me on the head with water!  Now, once would have been bad enough, twice a little worse but this guy did it three times!  What gives?  I was really embarrassed, it was like the guy was taking advantage of me because he knew that I could not do anything about it other than sit there and take it! And another thing, I had brand new clothes on; how did he know that my mom and dad were not going to be mad that he got them wet? It takes a real “tough guy” to do this to a kid who can’t defend himself!


Tips for Happy Living:


  1. Never, I mean never trust your parents when they say you can sit up just fine.  Next thing you know, you will be bashing your head into the carpet! It doesn’t hurt too much, but the sudden jolt makes you a little dizzy!
  2. Sleep, eat, play, sleep, play, eat, play, sleep, eat, sleep, play, play, eat and sleep some more.  A never-ending cycle that I really don’t ever seem to get tired of.
  3. Wear a hat that covers your eyes out in the sun.
  4. When sleeping, spread out and use the whole bed.
  5. Hawaiian shirts make the day bright no matter what the weather is like.
  6. A day without naps is like a day without sunshine.
  7. Early to bed, not so early to rise.
  8. “An apple a day” really only works for people who have teeth.
  9. “A man has got to know his limitations,” but a baby can get away with pretty much anything.
  10. “Too much of a good thing,” was obviously said by someone that never had squash and green beans from a jar! 


Well, that’s it for this month.


Until next time,



May 15, 2001